Covey , has beautifully elaborated on each one of them. The habits are defined with real life examples which include the life of hundreds of the clients of Stephen R.
Covey and his own personal life. Everything happens twice in this world. First you plan something then you carry it out. You have to see a clear image of yourself, of your destination. When it comes across a storm, it changes its route to avoid the storm and then comes back to its original route as it passes the turbulent storm to make sure it moves towards its destination.
Human beings should have such clear destinations so that if they change their route while facing hardships, they should come back to the route that lead them towards their set destination. We have lots of things to pay attention to and give them time. We have to make a to do list, then, put them in a quadrant of important, not important, urgent and not urgent in order that we may understand which one to put first.
Things that are urgent and important should be put first. Human being tends to think about his own profits more than others, but if one wants to do well in life and in business, he should think about the benefit and well-being of everyone involved.
In a business deal, prefer the option which is equally good for all the parties — only by adopting this method you can succeed. It is due to the phenomenon of seeking to be understood first. We think that only our matters are important; they, therefore, should be given the first priority. We expect that others should understand us and value what we believe in, which is the reason of many problems we face. Only have one life to live, so you better make the best of it. Honesty comes in many forms.
When people look at you, do they see the genuine article or do you appear through smoke and mirrors? This goes for your Internet persona, too. I was really good at it. It takes courage to be honest when people all around you seem to be getting away with cheating on tests, lying to their parents, and stealing from work. But, remember, every act of honesty is a deposit into your PBA and will build strength. Why was it so successful?
But it quickly becomes much more than that. The message for us here is about rejuvenation, about unplugging, about taking time to listen to the natural world around us. Go sit somewhere and ponder the clouds. Find a tree stump and listen to the wind or birds or maybe even the beating of your own heart. Now all this might sound a bit hokey, but trust me, humans today live in a constant storm of stuff and we all need to take a deep breath and unplug occasionally, just to renew our spirits.
There I had a hockey stick, a ball, and a bare concrete wall on which I could take out my frustrations. It did wonders for my hockey game, but it was even better for my family relationships. Arian told me about his refuge. All alone in the quiet, dark, and spacious auditorium, he could get away from all the hustle and bustle, have a good cry, or just relax.
Allison found a garden all her own: My dad died in an industrial accident at work when I was little. When I really need him I go to the top of the slide at the local grade school playground. I have this silly feeling that if I can go to the highest place I will be able to feel him.
So I climb up to the top of the slide and just lie there. I talk to him in my thoughts and I can feel him talking to my mind. I want him to touch me, but of course know that he cannot. I go there every time something really is bothering me and I just share my burdens with him. Exercise can do it, like going for a walk, running, dancing, or kickboxing. Some teens have suggested watching old movies, talking to friends who crack you up, or recording music and making videos on your computer. Others have found that writing in their journals helps them cope.
Habit 7, Sharpen the Saw, is all about taking time to renew your body, heart, mind, and soul. So hold your horses. The truth is, talents come in a variety of packages.
You may have a knack for reading, writing, or speaking. You may have a gift for rhythm, being hilarious, remembering details, or being accepting of others. You may have organizational, musical, or leadership skills.
And as this girl attests, it builds esteem. You might die laughing when I tell you that I have a real talent and love for weeds. I realized that I always noticed them, while others just wanted them cut down. So I started picking them and pressing them—and eventually making beautiful pictures and postcards and art objects with them. I have been able to cheer many a sad soul with one of these personalized cards.
It makes me an explorer. His story is set in the Teton mountain range that stretches high above the plains of Idaho and Wyoming. The Grand Teton, the tallest of the Teton peaks, juts 13, feet above sea level.
As a young boy, Bryce had the picture-perfect baseball swing. Until his tragic accident. While playing with a BB gun one day, Bryce accidentally shot himself in the eye. Fearing that surgery might permanently impair his vision, the doctors left the BB in his eye. Months later, when Bryce returned to baseball, he began striking out each time at bat. He had lost his depth perception and much of his vision in one eye and could no longer judge the ball.
I was convinced that I would never be able to do anything again. It was a big blow to my confidence. Since he lived near the Tetons he decided to give climbing a try. So he dropped by the local Army store and bought nylon rope, carabiners, chalks, pitons, and other climbing necessities.
He checked out climbing books and studied how to tie knots, hook up a harness, and rappel. Soon he began climbing some of the smaller peaks surrounding the Grand Teton. Bryce soon realized that he had a knack for it. Unlike many of his climbing partners, his body was strong and lightweight and seemed to be perfectly built for rock climbing.
It took him two days. Reaching this goal gave him a massive confidence boost. Bryce got faster and stronger every time. A climbing ranger named Jock Glidden had set a record on the Grand by running to the top and back in four hours and eleven minutes.
I know you can do it. He stopped only twice: once to take rocks out of his shoes and once to sign the register at the summit to prove he had been there. He felt utterly amazing. A few years later, Bryce received a surprise call from Kim. Your record has just been broken. I know you can do it! With him were friends, family, Kim, and a crew from the local television station to film his run. As before, he knew the hardest part of the climb would be the mental aspect. He obviously did not want to become one of the two or three who die each year while attempting to scale the Grand.
The rise and fall in altitude from Lupine Meadows to the top and back is about 15, feet. As he ascended up, up, up the mountain, his heart pounded and his legs burned. Concentration was intense. The descent became so steep at times that he was taking ten- to fifteen-foot strides. He passed some friends who later told him his face had turned purple from oxygen depletion.
He had done the impossible! Word spread fast and Bryce became known as the fastest climber in the West. My ability to climb gave me something to work for and was a great source of self-esteem. Most important, Bryce has found a way to make a living doing what he loves to do. Oh, by the way, the record still stands. And Bryce still has that BB in his eye. Keep Promises to Yourself 1 Get up when your alarm goes off. Decide when you will do it. Then keep your word and do it. Magnify Your Talents 5 List a talent you would like to develop this year.
Write down specific steps to get there. Talent I want to develop this year: How do I get there: 6 Make a list of the talents you most admire in other people. Each time you catch yourself putting yourself down, you have to replace it with three positive thoughts about yourself. Try it. Renew Yourself 9 Decide on a fun activity that will lift your spirits and do it today.
For example, turn up the music and dance. Get up right now and go for a fast walk around the block. Good luck! Growing up in my home was at times a big pain. Because my dad always made me take responsibility for everything in my life.
You choose to be mad. Change teachers. Find a tutor if you have to. He was always challenging me, making sure that I never blamed someone else for the way I acted.
Luckily my mom let me blame other people and things for my problems or I might have turned out psycho. Just get off my back and leave me alone. But, with hindsight, I see the wisdom in what he was doing. He wanted me to learn that there are two types of people in this world—the proactive and the reactive—those who take responsibility for their lives and those who blame; those who make it happen and those who get happened to.
I am the captain of my life. I can choose my attitude. Can you imagine doing algebra before learning addition and subtraction? Not gonna happen. The same goes for the 7 Habits. Proactive or Reactive. Are you in the habit of reacting to these kinds of everyday things, or are you proactive? The choice is yours. It really is. How many times have you been driving down the road when suddenly somebody cuts in front of you, making you hit the brakes?
What do you do? Scream at them? Flip them the bird? Let it ruin your day? Or do you just let it go? Laugh about it. Move on. Reactive people make choices based on impulse. They are like a can of soda pop. When life shakes them up a bit, the pressure builds and they suddenly explode.
Get out of my lane! They think before they act. Unlike reactive people who are full of carbonation, proactive people are like water.
Shake them up all you want, take off the lid, and nothing. They stay calm, cool, and in control. You feel hurt and betrayed. Shove past her as you storm off. After all, she did it to you. Recently, a new employee joined the crew and he gets the coveted Saturday afternoon shift—the shift you were hoping for.
I was predetermined to be this way. You just ruined my day. You are. I must have things to be happy. Notice that reactive language takes power away from you and gives it to something or someone else. People infected with victimitis believe that everyone has it in for them and that the world owes them something.
The world owes you nothing. It was here first. Color has not stood in my way and I learn so much from white and black teachers and counselors alike. But it only resulted in him feeling that I was taking the side of the white man. I remain convinced that the only person who can hold you back is yourself. I mean, like, all the time. There were times I wanted to pound the guy, but I somehow managed to keep my cool and ignore him.
Whenever he insulted me, I made it a personal challenge to treat him well in return. I had faith that things would work out in the end if I acted this way.
In a matter of a few months things began to change. Often all it takes is one person to create a friendship. To top it off he then has the nerve to question the price I charged him for the broccoli. To my horror, I discovered that he was right. I had put the wrong code numbers in the register for the broccoli. Now I was extra irritated and so tempted to lash out at him to cover for my own mistake.
It will just take a couple of seconds. It felt so good. I had apologized, but I had also said what I wanted to say. It was such a simple little thing, but it gave me such inner conversion and confidence in this habit. Being reactive is way, way easier. Without question, though, being proactive is the higher road and one that will take you much farther in the not-so-long run. The key then is to get in the habit of being proactive so you can run on autopilot and not even have to think about it.
Then Never underestimate the huge difference small changes can make. But there is one thing we can control: how we respond to what happens to us. And that is what counts! Picture two circles.
The inner circle is our circle of control. It includes things we have control over—ourselves, our attitudes, our choices, our response to whatever happens to us. Surrounding the circle of control is the circle of no control. You guessed it! Ignore the rude comment, avoid making the mistake next time, and get an umbrella for the rain.
You are the star of your own life. Focus on what you can influence. Renatha told me a story that illustrates this point. Instead of ignoring the comments, Renatha became angry and spent the rest of the week stewing. When the game arrived, her only goal was to prove to this woman that she was a good player. To make a long story short, Renatha played poorly, spent much of her time on the bench, and her team lost the game.
Proactive people, on the other hand, focus elsewhere. By doing so they experience inner peace and are primed for whatever comes their way. I can get through it. Mitchell, a self- made millionaire, a sought-after speaker, a former mayor, a river rafter, and skydiver.
And he accomplished all this after his accidents. Mitchell says sometimes people try to guess how he was injured. A car wreck? The real story is more astounding than one could ever imagine. On June 19, , he was on top of the world—young, healthy, and popular.
The day before, he had bought a beautiful new motorcycle. That morning, he soloed in an airplane for the first time.
The bike went down, crushed my elbow and fractured my pelvis, and the gas can popped open on the motorcycle. The gas poured out, the heat of the engine ignited it, and I got burned over 65 percent of my body. He was unconscious for two weeks, and then he awakened.
Over four months, he had 13 transfusions, 16 skin-graft operations, and several other surgeries. Four years later, after spending months in rehabilitation and years learning to adapt to his new handicaps, the unthinkable happened. Mitchell was involved in a freak airplane crash, and was paralyzed from the waist down. He had been a mountain climber, a skier, an active outdoors person, and he was convinced his life was over. Before all this happened to me, there were 10, things I could do.
Now there are 9, I could spend the rest of my life dwelling on the 1, that I lost, but I choose to focus on the 9, that are left. First is the love and encouragement of friends and family, and second is a personal philosophy he has gleaned from various sources.
I could choose to see this situation as a setback or a starting point. I have no time to ponder that which has been denied. I hope and believe that you will be proactive and strong in these defining moments. I remember a major setback of my own. Two years after I had become the starting quarterback in college, I seriously injured my knee, had surgery, fell behind, and subsequently lost my position.
I felt sick. It was my senior year. As a backup, I had a choice to make. I could complain, bad-mouth the new guy, and feel sorry for myself. I could make the most of the situation. Luckily, I decided to deal with it. I was no longer throwing touchdowns, but I could help in other ways. So I swallowed my pride and kept supporting the team, working hard and preparing for each game as if I were the starter. I chose to keep my chin up. Was it easy?
Not at all. I often felt like a failure. Sitting out every game after being the starter was humiliating. Keeping a good attitude was a constant struggle. Was it the right choice, though? Most important, I took responsibility for my attitude. I cannot begin to tell you what a positive difference this singular decision made in my life.
It happened when I was at a fair. He took me on a long walk and we ended up down at the dugouts at the high school. That was where he raped me. You wanted this to happen to you anyway. I kept quiet about it for two years. Finally, I was attending a help session where people who were abused told their stories and this one girl got up and told a story similar to mine. When she said the name of the boy that abused her, I started to cry because it was the same one who had raped me.
It turned out that there were six of us who were victimized by him. Fortunately, Heather is now on the road to recovery and has found tremendous strength in being part of a teen group that is trying to help other abuse victims.
By coming forward, she put a stop to more girls getting attacked by the same boy. That is a proactive and powerful act. Too afraid to tell anyone I tried to bury my hurt and anger. Now that I have come to terms with what happened, I look back on my life and can see how it has affected everything.
In trying to hide something terrible I ended up hiding myself. Many people have been through the same experience as I have or something that is related. Most hide it. Some are afraid for their lives. Others want to protect themselves or someone else. Confronting it is the only way to sew up that bleeding gash. Find someone to talk to, someone you feel comfortable with, someone you can trust.
And the truth has to be told. Abuse thrives in secrecy. By telling another person, you immediately lighten the load you carry. Talk with a loved one or friend you can trust, go to sexual-abuse support meetings, or visit a professional therapist.
Sharing your secret with another is an important step in the healing process. Take the initiative to do it. Please refer to the abuse hotlines listed at the back of the book for help or information. One girl mentioned her mother.
Another kid talked about his brother. One guy was noticeably silent. I asked him whom he admired. Unfortunately, this is the case with many teens. They come from messed-up families and may not have anyone to pattern their lives after. The scary thing is that bad habits such as abuse, alcoholism, and welfare dependency are often passed down from parents to kids, and, as a result, dysfunctional families keep repeating themselves. Sometimes these problems go back for generations.
You may come from a long line of alcohol or drug abusers. You may come from a long line of dependency on welfare. Perhaps no one in your family has ever graduated from college or even high school. The good news is that you can stop the cycle. Because you are proactive, you can stop these bad habits and circumstances from being passed on.
I would hear them arguing over the money and how they were going to pay the rent. The highest grade my parents went to in school was the sixth grade. I am the force. This was hard on her, and she could see the consequences of a lack of education.
When Hilda was in junior high, her family moved from California back to Mexico. Hilda soon realized that there were limited educational options for her there, so she asked if she could move back to the States to live with her aunt. For the next several years Hilda made great sacrifices to stay in school.
I wanted to prove to my dad that no matter what, he was wrong when he said than no one in our family could become a professional. I am teaching him how to speak English and Spanish. One day he will need help with his homework, and I will be there to help him.
Shane lives with his parents and two siblings in the projects, a low-income section of town. His dad drives a truck and is never home. His mom smokes weed with his twelve-year-old sister. His older brother failed two years of high school and finally dropped out.
At one point Shane had lost hope. I treat myself better and I show myself respect. Although nobody in my family has ever gone to college, I have been accepted to three different universities.
Everything I do now is for my future. My future is going to be different. No matter how bad your predicament is, you can become a change agent and create a new life for yourself and whatever may follow.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost. I am helpless. It takes forever to find a way out. II I walk down the same street. I fall in again. It still takes a long time to get out. III I walk down the same street. I see it is there.
I still fall in. My eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately. IV I walk down the same street. I walk around it. V I walk down another street. First, you take responsibility for your life. Instead of taking this class, however, I decided to create my own. So I put together a list of books I would read and the assignments I would do and found a teacher to sponsor me.
I then went to the dean of the school and presented my case. He bought into my idea and I completed my language requirement by taking my self-built course. They went out and happened to things. To reach your goals in life, you must seize the initiative. Find ways to meet people. Be friendly and try smiling a lot. Ask them out. They may not know how great you are. Be bold. Some people mistake can-do for being pushy, aggressive, or obnoxious. Can-do is courageous, persistent, and smart. Others think can-do people stretch the rules and make their own laws.
Not so. Can-do thinkers are creative, enterprising, and extremely resourceful. Pia, a friend of mine, shared the following story. It took place a long time ago, but the principle of can-do is the same: I was a young journalist in a big city in Europe, working full-time as a reporter for United Press International. The Beatles were coming to town, and to my amazement I was appointed to cover their stay. They were the hottest thing in Europe in those days.
Girls fainted by the hundreds just by their presence, and here I was going to cover their press conference. The press conference was exciting and I was elated to be there, but I realized that everyone would have the same story—I needed something more, something meaty, something that really would make front page.
One by one, all the experienced reporters went back to their papers to report and the Beatles went up to their rooms. I stayed behind.
I walked to the hotel lobby, picked up the house phone, and dialed the penthouse. I guessed they would be staying there. Their manager answered. What did I have to lose? I gulped down my nervousness and inexperience and tried to act like a world-class reporter. I spent the next two hours laughing, listening, talking, writing, and having the best time of my life.
They treated me royally and gave me all the attention in the world! My story was splashed on the front page of the leading newspaper in the country the next morning.
And my more extended interviews with each of the Beatles appeared as a feature in most of the newspapers of the world within the next few days. When the Rolling Stones came to town after that—guess who they sent? Me, a young, female, inexperienced reporter. I used the same approach with them and it worked again. Sign up Log in. Web icon An illustration of a computer application window Wayback Machine Texts icon An illustration of an open book. Books Video icon An illustration of two cells of a film strip.
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